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Navigating the Maze: Unveiling the Secrets of Healthy Relationships
[…]like many of you, I've grown all too accustomed to the definitions of toxicity and trauma, while the concept of healthy relationships has remained somewhat elusive. Coming from a tumultuous household characterized by incessant yelling, arguing, and various forms of abuse, I became desensitized to toxicity in relationships, and often downplayed the trauma I endured.
In our recent exchanges – both online and offline – I've discerned a common thread among us: a collective desire to dissect and define what constitutes a healthy relationship, what it unequivocally is not, how to cultivate one, and the ongoing effort required to sustain healthier dynamics.
Healing Scared
“sometimes it takes your heart breaking a few times for you to become independent in important and healthy ways. heartbreak shows you that your self-worth and wholeness should not depend on another's words or love. use the hurt as a map that leads inward to pursue your healing and ignite your self-love.”
—young pueblo (clarity & connection, pg. 96)
The nerves can be quite present but taking that step, trying it out, really makes a difference. And maybe that's what yung pueblo is saying.
Encouragment for the Present
Looking back, I can tell you that there will come a time when you'll wake up and realize that the nightmare has faded.
You'll still feel the pain of the past but you'll also feel the encouragement of the present and realize that despite what heartache life throws your way, you have overcome what was impossible. Your heart will refresh as you continue to move forward.
Destined to Breathe
Drenched in these salty tears
Asking the question which I find myself repeating again:
Why am I so broken?
If I touch someone or let them in…will I break them too?
Why…. why am I so scared?
Overcoming My Thorn
I spent five months trying to write this post. Five months of opening a blank page, typing a sentence, and closing the tab. Because this secret — my biggest one — wasn't something I ever imagined saying out loud, let alone publishing on the internet for the world to read.
My fight-or-flight sin, the one I had to lay bare before God, was pornography. And it started when I was in fourth grade.
For years I carried this quietly — through elementary school, through high school, through accepting Christ as my Savior — still fighting something I didn't have words for and was too ashamed to confess. The enemy had me convinced I was alone in it. That good girls, church girls, didn't deal with this. That if anyone ever found out, they would see me differently.
But God had other plans. He used a torn piece of cardboard, a stranger on a stage, and four words — truly loved and free — to show me that the thing I was most ashamed of was the very thing He wanted to redeem.
This post is my testimony. It's about what confession does that silence never can. It's about the freedom that only comes when you stop carrying something alone. And it's about the conversation I believe the church needs to start having — openly, honestly, and without shame.
If you've ever felt like you were the only one fighting something in the dark, this one is for you.

