Posts tagged self love
Don't Be Silenced: Q & A

"Deep down, we grow in kindness when our kindness is tested." - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

When you exercise love and willingly give it to others no matter how much pain you are in, when you remove your initial attachment to any form of pain, you begin to take back your power. That power is joy, and your humanity needs it. 

No matter what happens in life, you always have a choice, and your decisions are evident in your words, thoughts, and actions. Each word, each decision, gets you closer to either becoming a bitter person or a more loving human; it's all in the choices you make. I decided to see others the way God saw them and not with my human eyes. 

I think to myself, "Wow, how amazing is that God allowed me to face these different forms of pain? I would've never understood the level of pain and struggle my brothers and sisters who face this go through if I couldn't relate. God has used this to bring me closer to the many people who have suffered misconduct and violence. And not only that but how difficult it is when others play the comparison game amid the pain.

I'm blessed that I got to be able to witness this, and now I feel much closer to each person because we all feel pain and we all struggle to share for fear of rejection and judgment due to all the hurt we feel. Now that I've faced both by sharing and have come out with more joy than I knew was possible, I know that there are more joy and love in me to give to my brothers and sisters as they face all sorts of hurt and pain life gives them."

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Not the Possibility of You, But You

AB: you know he has these amazing qualities that I admire in people, and I want within myself, but I just don't know.

HL: Like which part of him are you attracted to spiritually like as what you want in friendship and which parts are you attracted to in a relationship?

AB: Honestly, his desire to keep growing closer to God and wanting to chase after him is beyond the moon for me because I want that too. I want to keep chasing God. He deepens his relationship with the Lord through Scripture and service, and it's genuine because it's not to impress anyone or say here I am. Unless you dig it out of him, you wouldn't even know what he does for the glory of God. That's what attracts me to him spiritually, and I want that in all my friendships. Though, intimate relationship-wise, I think it's admirable that he prioritizes his family and speaks highly of them no matter what. His ability to let life be life and how inviting he is to every person is something I want in the man I do life with. He doesn't speak poorly of anyone.

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Your Choices Speaks Volumes

Some of us are quick to say that we love ourselves, but the choices we make seem to contradict that statement. How? When we make decisions to keep people in our lives who aren't a part of our alignment or distract us from who, God has destined for us to become. (you know the truth behind this more than anyone who those people are.) When we settle for anything that we know will cause less growth than if we were simply with Christ, we're not loving ourselves!

We cannot be in a healthy relationship with anyone if we're not in a healthy relationship with ourselves. We cannot give love if we don't first give it to ourselves. We cannot accept love if we first do not accept the love that God has for us. We cannot be who we're meant to be if we do not allow ourselves to meet ourselves. You and I cannot say we love ourselves if we don't know ourselves (which takes time, patience, compassion, and honesty).

Love for others begins when we love ourselves first. Respect for others starts when we respect ourselves. Compassion exists when we learn to give it to ourselves firstmost.

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Do You Love Yourself?

"Do you love yourself?"

If your answer involved a forceful response where you octave was higher than your natural tone, we should talk.

If your answer seemed forced as if there were a point to be proven, we should talk.

If your answer continued with explanations that involved your character, traits, or reasons that you wanted to give to why you love yourself, then we should chat.

If your answer were fickle (a yes, but shaky, a maybe, a sort of, or a no), we should talk.

What fascinates me is the difficulty this simple question presents. (Now, knowing me, be mindful that I have yet to have mastered this question or the depth to which the reasons that were given to me have. But I'm learning and growing daily.) How is it possible that a straightforward question such as "do you love yourself," can be complicated? I thought of two reasons why we overcomplicate this question…

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Dear You,

By sharing with you and bearing my weakness on my sleeves, I hope that these lessons and experiences guide you to not just living your best life (can we stop this phrase? I mean weren't we already living our best life? Do we even have a worst lives?) but being the best version of yourself you could ever be.

To me, only by allowing myself to express all that I am will I be able to embrace and love the beauty of being me. So you can say, blogging is my medication.

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Lessons I'm Taking Into 2019

What a year this has been. From moving to a new place to getting pets and deciding to allow Christ into every aspect of my life entirely, 2018 has been one for the books. The year of growth. Yup, that's what I'm going to call it.

There has been an overarching theme of self-growth, self-love, and self-care for me this year. I'm praying that as the clock strikes midnight and we step into a new year, we continue to prioritize these aspects of our growth. I don't want to forget that make sure I'm happy and healthy will result in living the life I was always wanted. So as a promise to myself, I decided to write down seven valuable lessons I learned from God about myself and relationships. These are lessons I pray that I store away in the back of my mind.

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