It's been a while since I last wrote. It's been a while since I last shared anything. And a lot has happened since.
I've learned so much...but I don't think one blog post is going to justify all the knowledge and all the experience that I've gained since I last sat here typing to you guys. But, let's start from the beginning then. Yeah, let's do tha.
Let's start from when I decided to pause.
So, a couple of months ago, the last time I actually posted on here (maybe a couple of post before that actually ), I started getting negative comments sent to me. Both on my blog and all around. In fact, it wasn't just negative comments.
Knowing that there are negative people out there that do not know me, who was dating my ex, exes, knowing that there were people who once knew me, that I once allowed into my life was stalking me through social media, pestering me, attacking my character and who I am in front of people who don't know me, who have never met me...hurt.
Yeah, that's the word. It hurt. I'm not a celebrity (in a way I'm glad; that's for another conversation though). Truly, I'm just a simple person. I'm a normal person, at least if normality could be defined. But it can't. (Again that's for another blog post.)
Truly, I'm not that complex. I live a pretty simple life to you all the truth. I wake up in the morning, sometimes at 6 AM. Take a shower. Get dressed. Make sure my hair is done. Make sure my makeup is good. Strap on my heels. Walk out of the door and drive on to work.
I work 12 hours sometimes (sometimes more). Come back, and if I'm lucky and the Lord allows me to have the energy, I hit the gym. Power through an hour to a two-hour workout cause I know this temple. This temple needs to be taken care of. After that, I get home. Make myself something quick to eat. Watch a show that I used to watch as a kid, like cartoons. (You have no idea the number of times I've seen the whole series of Hey Arnold ! I think I'm going on number five.) But, that's a normal Monday through Friday for me.
Weekends? Sometimes I'll go in and sometimes I don't. Sundays, get to church. Get to Sunday school (still working on that you know; y'all pray for me). Make it to service. Go to the gym afterward, come home, and then blog. Again, I'm a simple person.
So, imagine my surprise, how uncomfortable I was, how confused I was...when the analytics pulled up certain IP addresses. When I had to start blogging to speak my truth about people. People I don't even know, people I've never met who were on all my social platforms. It's scary. It's uncomfortable. It's unwanted.
I'm not going to drag people's name through the mud. That's not me. You know who you are. If you wouldn't want this to be done to you or anyone you love, then don't do this to others. That's a rule I live by.
Moving on, I started feeling uncomfortable you guys. It freaked me out to know that someone would threaten me, possibly even my family because I don't know their sanity. To just know that these people were there and that I once had some of these people in my life...it's scary. That's why you should be very careful and ask for discernment when it comes to those you allow into your life.
Now I'm not going to stop blogging because of all of this. No, a couple of people doing this doesn't change me that much. But, then I started realizing something...
I don't blog to talk about people. I don't blog to bash people. I blog to release. I blog to revive. I blog to embrace. And I blog to encourage.
These are words I live, abide, and am. And with everything I have been through, I needed to make sure I treasured those parts of who I am. Do you remember how I always talked about how important it is to prioritize your self-care and your self love? That's what I've been doing since I've been gone (cue Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone). That's what I've been doing.
I wanted to take the necessary time to meet me, love me, listen to me, hear me, feel me, and be me. And I'm not saying I'm never going do this again because I feel like taking the time you need to process doesn't need to be explained. But should definitely be done, continuously.
You're girl's back. You're girl's excited. You're girl's on fire cause God has taught me a lot. One is the source of who I am, my very soul is his. I can't wait to share some stuff with y' all. It's been long enough. I'm back.