All the Single Ladies: Ring by Spring
Freshman year of college I felt more like there was something wrong with me than ever before.
As many of you know, my alumna is Liberty University. I love LU! Go Flames all day! But this post isn't about recruiting you to like my school as much as I do but that the pressure of college exceeds just how scary our grades can be. There's a pressure that I didn't expect to face. This was something they didn't tell us during the college applications. They didn't go over this during the tour.
RING BY SPRING!
Here's a short explanation: the pressure to get in a relationship and/or getting married after dating for less than a year ( up to 2-3 years) and getting married while you're both in school.
It started off as a joke but just like any joke, there are some underlining truths. Now mind you, LU isn't the only school that struggles with this. Students from schools around the country have expressed that this is a thing at their schools too.
It's pretty interesting how something so silly can consume your mind and your emotions. It did for me. I began asking myself and my friends, "what is wrong with me," and "why am I the only one that doesn't have a guy?" Looking back, the only thing that was wrong with me was that I belived that by having a 'ring by spring' I would be successful and deemed as someone who had things together. Relationships will never, under any circumstance, deterimine whether or not I'm successful. True success comes from accepting who I am and finding joy that never deterates. No relationship, no matter how wonderful can do that. Only God and I can make me successful!
At the time, these thoughts keep running through my mind day in and day out. It came to the point where I would cry during our prayer group meetings (Liberty thing; happens once a week). Then after one meeting my friend Jesse came back to my dorm with me. She started comforting me and telling me that nothing was wrong with me. But you know what it's like when you know all the cliche quotes, nothing anyone says seems to work. She realized it wasn't working so she let my dorm and said that she would be right back.
About five to ten minutes later, Jesse came back with a spiral notebook. She flipped to a page and explained to me that what she was about to read to me was a letter given to her by her friend from back home. She said that her friend wrote this to her for her to hold on to while she was at Liberty and that she wanted to share this with me. It was called...
My Beloved Child,
Singleness is a blessing not a curse. As your father I am longing to show you my heart. Watch while you grow in me and become like your brother Jesus. I planned this time just for us to be together. I have called you from home, the past, and even your family. You see, I want to develop our relationship. I want so badly to show you my love and let you get caught up in my presence. I wish you could wake up rejoicing in each new day that I give you and just wondering what adventure I have planned for today. You and I have the whole world for our playground. Bu the one think I wish most of all is that you cherished these moments alone with me as much as I cherish them. Because you see, I know one day I will have to release part of you to another man. Yes, this man will be the one I chose and set apart for you, because I want to bless you. But also to give you a small example of love, commitment, and the relationship that I want to have with my children. Yes, marriage is wonderful and it is a gift from me, but so is singleness.
Singleness is a time of separation, but also a time of learning to be strengthened and fulfilled only in me. I have longed for these days when we would be alone together and I could teach you the meaning of true love and intimacy. First, I want you to be fulfilled in me alone see me as the one to meet your every need. I love you too much to give a blessing too early because I know it would then become a curse. Yes, your husband is out there and it wouldn't be long before I bring the promises to pass, but I want us to delight in every minute made for us. You see, I know the day is coming when I have to face the hurt of every father, when he walks the woman that he still recalls as a helpless little girl down the long church aisle to give away the hand that grew so quickly from a child to the woman now by his side. As father and daughter begin hand in hand down that aisle, they will always treasure those last special moments before the father gives his little girl's hand to become the wife of another man. That is the road we are on, and oh! I could to every last moment I have you completely by my side. I am the father and I see the altar approaching ever so quickly. I just wish these moments with me were as special to you. My heart is grieved for it seems you running toward the altar, content to let me creep slowly on behind. Won't you rejoice in these moments with me?
My child, I am you father and I love you with a love beyond what you can believe. I would love to have you in my lap forever, but I know that would not be the best for you. You see, it was even my love that birthed this desire of marriage in you. I love you so much that I wanted to give you an example of my love in the flesh. Someone who would physically be there to hug you, because you longed to feel my loving arms but weren't there in the flesh. I wiped away the tears when you feel my loving arms but weren't there in flesh. I wiped away the tears when you wanted so badly to audibly hear my voice whisper, "I Love You." I felt the pain when you needed a loving to melt all those fears away. I am the answer to every one of those needs, but my love is strong enough to send you someone in the flesh to love you through. So don't be sad or discouraged when you see others getting married. Don't think I am making you wait because you are a hopeless case. Maybe I just want you all to myself a little longer. Please don't run away from these days in search of greener grass. I planned this time just for us.
I Love You,
Your Daddy God
PS. Please wait
Whether you're single, dating, or even married this is a letter for all of us. Our current circumstance are for preparation. Just because God birthed a desire inside of you and it hasn't came to pass doesn't mean you're forgot or that something is wrong with you. You are in a classroom when you have to wait. You are getting experience, knowledge, patience, discernment, and faith. These are all of the things we need to not just have successful lives but to have successful relationships.
After reading this letter, I began asking God whenever I felt like the old thoughts were creeping back in, "what are you teaching me this time?" I challenge you, to take those negative thoughts that don't come from God and dump them in the trash like you did with food that were burnt and couldn't be consumed. Instead ask God, "what are you teaching me this time Father?" Stop trying to consume burnt thoughts. Start from scratch and get the recipe right!
Until next time…
- 🌿 Abigail