18 Adulting Lessons from 2018 We Must Keep!
Around this time of the year, we tend to get our journals out (phones for the high tech people) and begin to brainstorm the one list we allow to disappoint us the most: New Year's Resolutions. We make impossible goals and demand requests from the upcoming year knowing full well that we will be beating ourselves mentally because we didn't accomplish the list. Well, instead of making a long list this year, I chose to stick to 18 things (we'll talk about that in another post, and frankly enough, I don't think they were impossible goals). Instead of getting all worked up about accomplishments I knew I would struggle to achieve, I made it a mission of mine this year to make an end of year list instead.
I wanted to compile a list of lessons that I want to keep no matter what. I wanted to compose a list that contained essential lessons that I learned this year and would be applicable for years to come. Lessons that I need to store away in my spirit but also give to others for guidance. Sure enough, I was able to retain 18 lessons. So without further ado, here are some life suggestions to store away:
Be adventurous in your own way
Challenging yourself to do things that bring you out of your comfort zone is part of life. Life itself will challenge you. But you have the option to do things that pour into you. What is adventurous for others isn’t the same for you. What you find as adventurous and enlightening can only be defined by you alone.
Don’t wait for life to challenge you; challenge yourself
Sometimes we wait until we face something to grow, but maybe that happens because we’ve allowed ourselves to stay stagnant. Just as the blood in your veins flows from here to there, so should we. Challenge yourself to do things you’ve never done before. Allow yourself to grow in ways you’ve only dreamed you could. Embrace those challenges and mistakes because it’s part of your growth.
Every decision has a result attached to it
Adulting 101 here; every step has a result and that to emphasize the importance of making the best decisions you can make. You’re not perfect, but you have the potential to be the best. It all starts with being thoughtful in the choices you make. Your judgment doesn’t only affect you but everyone who’s connected to you. Be responsible.
You’re always going to disappoint someone when you are honest
I pride myself in being as honest as I can be but I fall short sometimes (but let’s not talk about me). When you chose to be transparent, you have to realize that someone is going to be disappointed. You cannot please all the people you want to. Sometimes the one you disappoint maybe yourself. Accept that someone may be upset when the truth comes out but don’t regret doing the right thing.
Let your life be on a need to know bases; not everyone needs to know
Oh goodness, where do I start with this one? Not everyone needs to know what’s going on with you because not everyone is on your side. You have the right to make your life exclusive, do it! If you don’t believe, read this post: What I Wish I Had Known Sooner
It’s not selfish to chose yourself; sometimes it’s the most selfless act you can do
We all need to stop this whole selfish stereotype thing we add when someone wants to focus on themselves. I think it’s actually a bold, admirable, and wise move. Choosing you means taking care of you. By doing so, you’re able to be the best you can be. Don’t allow the fear of selfishness dictate your r&r time.
All you need is: Amazing Support System + Family + A Whole Lot of Jesus (TREASURE your squad)
Do we really need to explain this further💁🏾♀️?
Let go of relationships that jeopardize your relationship with yourself, your loved ones, and Jesus
There are times when being selfish is discouraged but not when it comes to your squad. Anything that takes away from your times and love for those you love needs to go. That means people, events, activities, and even conversations. Protect your squad and love on them. Don’t let anyone or anything interfere.
You’re grown but so are your obstacles
I don’t really know how many times I can handle the whole “you’re gown” thing. Adulting isn’t easy, and if anyone tells you so, they’re a lair. No questions about it, growing up has its struggles. Don’t underestimate the challenges you’ll face in your adult life. Obstacles are here, and they are going to make you grow in ways you never imagined
Compassion is the new black
Giving others compassion and understanding should be as popular as whatever is trending in fashion. Be sincere when you are asking others how they are doing. Say hello to that coworker you have yet to speak to since they started. Show everyone that you care even if your answer is no.
Listen to those who’ve gone before you (not just your elders but people who are doing what you want to do)
Why allow those who are doing better than you to intimidate you? No, let those people inspire you. Study those who have come before you, those who are doing what you want to accomplish. Sit in their master classes, read up on what they are doing and did to get where they are. Let their knowledge fuel you.
It’s alright to say no but do it with compassion
I’ve mentioned this before, but just in case your (or I) forget, here’s the bottom line. You can say no and still do it with love. Don’t feel obligated, intimated, or insecure. Don’t be rude, disrespectful, or hurtful. Instead, thank whoever for whatever they ask of you and decline with some compassion.
Forgiveness is always possible
Forgiveness is for you, but sometimes the other person needs to hear that you forgive them. Don’t allow the negativity of the past to dictate the possible positivity of the future. Forgiveness can be given no matter how early or late it is.
The restart button is always available to those who chose love
Similar to how forgiveness is always an option so are restarts. Nothing is ever set in stone, and people change. You change. If hitting the restart button is what you need then do it. Do it as many times as you need.
Be so darn good at being you because someone else needs you to
Be the best version you can be of yourself no matter the circumstances. Don’t let anything change your character but instead allow all that you go through improve who you are as a person. Keep on loving others and continue to show everyone respect.
This was a scary and powerful realization. Your mind truly does control your life. A cynical mind = a negative life. A positive spirit = positive life. This is a simple explanation for a process that takes a lifetime to master. Remember that you are more powerful than you believe. You can design your life by making it the best artwork yet!
Your Mom and Dad are always right but they're still learning too
…okay maybe not in everything but if life lesson, your parent’s words are gold! I find myself repeating some of mom’s most quotes to myself and my friends. Sometimes, I even say it to her (yeah, give her some of her own medicine)! Looking back at my life, especially this year, there have been countless times when the advice my parents passed down have saved me from making some poor decisions. So mom and dad, if you ever read this, thank you!
Self-care should be priority #1 after Jesus
I have been emphasizing on the importance of, and I wouldn’t stop. We live in a world were more happens to us mentally, emotionally, and physically than we are aware of. Sometimes we are aware, but we don’t prioritize the need to evaluate and understand what has happened to us properly. By not taking the time to care for ourselves, we make ourselves a target for more pain, more unnecessary mistakes, and more stress than we need to. Take time now prepares you for the future. You’ve got to learn to make you a priority.
We all know that I’m not always right. I’m growing just as you are. These are just some of the lessons I’ve acquired this year alone, guarantee that there are more. The best thing you can do when you learn something is to share it and empower others to be better. Your mistakes are meant to help you grow so evaluate them and retain the knowledge you gain.
Until next time…