Lessons I'm Taking Into 2019
What a year this has been. From moving to a new place to getting pets and deciding to allow Christ into every aspect of my life entirely, 2018 has been one for the books. The year of growth. Yup, that's what I'm going to call it.
There has been an overarching theme of self-growth, self-love, and self-care for me this year. I'm praying that as the clock strikes midnight and we step into a new year, we continue to prioritize these aspects of our growth. I don't want to forget that making sure I'm happy and healthy will result in living the life I've wanted. So as a promise to myself, I decided to write down seven valuable lessons I learned from God about myself and relationships. These are lessons I pray that I store away in the back of my mind.
1| If God Isn't the Center Then the Relationship Is Bound to Have an Expiration Date
Throughout this year, I have found that some of the connections I believe would withstand the trials of life couldn’t continue. Looking back at it, all of these relationships failed mainly because they didn’t allow room for God to be able to guide and he eventually said “nope, no more”.
2| It's Not My Job to Heal Others
This was difficult for me to grasp because it seems almost to contradict what God tells us to do for one another. I promise it isn't though.
When I love and care about someone, I want to see them at their best. Seeing those I treasure face the hurricanes of life hurts to witness (I can only imagine Mary when Jesus was marching to the cross). When I make myself as available as I can for my loved ones during their time of struggle, I have to make sure that I’m praying and loving on them. Ultimately, I must allow God to do his work. I’m a human being who is going through my own journey. It’s time to God do the healing while I do the loving.
3|It's How You Say It
As a child, I was accustomed to saying sorry even when something wasn't my responsibility. Then someone (I really should try and remember who this was because they taught me something valuable; shame on me😖) told me, "Abigail you need to stop apologizing for things that aren't in your control."
You may sympathize for the person; however, you should reevaluate why you believe that it's necessary to take ownership of something that isn't yours in the first place. This goes for relationships too. Don't just say sorry by default. Don't just say I love you to someone for the heck of it. Your feelings will always match your tone, and it's painful to receive words that are delivered in an apathetic tone.
4| Emotional + Mental Liberty Is a Must
Oh, 2018, how you took me on a ride!
The relationships you allow yourself to keep cannot and should not attack your inner peace. Anything that confuses you or clouds your ability to discern what God wants for you is a warning from the Lord. It may mean that it’s time to reassess yourself, what's happening, and those you're connected to. No person or thing should confuse you so much that your emotional and mental state is shaken.
5| Trust the Blunt People
I tend to tell people that I love blunt people and that I love honesty. I allow it, and I don't regret doing so. People who are willing to call you out (in love), explain to you why you could be wrong, and are willing to give you a wake call are my favorite type people. I don't need sugar coating of any kind (I'm trying to watch my glucose levels over here💁🏾♀️). Treasure anyone who loves you enough that they are willing to sacrifice the status of your relationship with them for your emotional and mental health. That’s love to me!
6| Have Stupid Courage
Be brave and courageous enough to tell people you love them. Don't let your pride or insecurity get the best of you. Be brave enough, however, to allow the wrong people to exit the door of your personal life. You can love people and care for them...from a distance! You can continue to show people unconditional love from afar. Sometimes that's the best way to care for that person and yourself.
7| Trust Who You Are in Christ and What the Lord Is Creating in You
When you care for others, you may allow yourself to try to be everything people want you to. Sometimes even to the point of forgetting what your needs are (not healthy, don't do it)! That's not your job! (Go back to lesson #2) You're likely to get confused or second guess yourself. Don't allow yourself to only meet the needs of others to the point of complicating your spiritual and moral compass.
What a year, right🥵? These were just some of the lessons I was able to learn from others and from my own experiences this year. Some of these were just realizations and we're deepened through new hellos and good-byes. I'm taking these lessons into 2019 with me! What is it that the Bible says again? Oh right:
“Be careful that you don’t forget the Lord your God by failing to keep his commands, ordinances, and statutes that I am giving you today.
What truths did you uncover this year? Let me know!
Until next time...