What I Wish I Had Known Sooner

Who here loves girl talk, guys, or whatever you call it ‘talk’ like I do? Let’s call it friend talk. I love gathering around my girls, my guys, and my friends just to catch up on what has been happening in our lives. It makes me feel at the whole being able to sit down and chat it up with the people I trust and love. Girl chat reminds me to be humble because I’m only able to give any form of advice because of the experiences I’ve been through but the chats also remind me that I’m not alone. Being able to converse with people that are in my inner circle reassures me that we are all going through and we've got each other's backs.

Well sometimes my squad isn’t available because we’re busy, so I like to grab a blanket on my days off and just unwind by watching one of my favorite shows that features girl chats, The Real! Since I was a child, Tamera Mowry has been a role model for me and I just love hearing her wisdom. Recently, I was just doing my regular catch up with The Real when I saw these videos.

I’m not always one for getting gushy and sharing my emotions with the world because we all know that the world doesn’t accept who we are (like Tamara says), at least not the way we want to be. But if I told you that I didn’t shed a tear watching these beautiful ladies share their wisdom, I’d be lying to you.

I could never imagine going through a divorce but similar to Tamara, I have and still, am learning to be alright knowing that I’m different. I accepted Christ at a young age as well and have always been the type of people who just don't like going along with what everyone is doing. I always knew what I like and what I didn’t like. Being alright with being different isn’t easy and since I'm still mastering that level of self-acceptance yet, I will say that it can definitely be a lifelong lesson.

When I talked to my mom about these videos, the questions she gave me moved me. She asked me, “Abigail, what do you wish you had known sooner?” I was pretty shocked that my mom of all people would ask this but she’s never been the one to shy away from asking tough questions. I didn’t know what to say at first. I’m still in my 20s and I don’t have my life completely figured out. I’m tripping over life and myself like as child learning to walk for the first time. So what does a 24-year-old say to this questions? I have three things I wished I had known sooner, aside from what these ladies said:

  • Truly comprehend that not everyone is going to want to be in my life and not everyone should.

    • I remember being told by a 6th-grade teacher “not everyone is going to want to be your friend.” Mind you, I wanted to be friends with everyone so this was harsh for an 11-year-old to hear. But nevertheless, she was right. As I look at 2018, I realize that it has been a tremendous year filled with slicing people out of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so at peace in the friendship department as I do now that I’m looking back. I guess this ties to into my new favorite saying:

  • My life is on a need to know bases and not everyone needs to know:

    • I have been saying this for quite some time now and I think it should be written on canvas so I can hang it above my bed. We love to share our success with the world through social media and conversations we have here and there. But my mom always said, “be careful who you tell things to because one person may be genuinely happy for you but another may wish harm for you because they're not on your side. You never know what a person is thinking when you tell them about your success.” Let your life be the beautiful mystery it was meant to be. Live through your actions but let your soul be a mystery to the world.

  • Trust in my morals and trust how I was raised.

    • Now I’m not going to tell you that I was raised perfectly. But I realized this when I was on campus my first and second years in college, trust how your parents raised you. If something doesn’t feel right because you believe your mother, father, or whoever raised you would disagree with it, then don’t do it. Just like that ridiculous saying, “just because your friends are going to jump off a cliff, that doesn’t mean you ought to”…unless it’s into the river that isn’t filled with rocks, then I’m down. I’m a mess.

As the years pass by, there’s going to be more truths that I’m going to wish I had known sooner but the beauty of it all is that because we go through struggles, we’re able to guide others so they don’t make the same mistakes. What are some things you wish you had known sooner? I want to know!

Unit next time…

- 🌿 Abigail