Mic Drop: How to Choose Your Glam Squad...Properly

Y’all, I had to think about this title for a minute! Honestly, coming up with titles isn’t as simple as it looks. We can talk about that when making a new post about how hard it is to make a post…

Okay, I’m done…for now. Now onto the real reason why you’re even reading this post…

I don’t know if it’s aging or just my personality, I’m still trying to figure this part out. But…how do I say this…I just don’t have the emotional, mental, and physical capacity to have a large group of friends. I don’t know🤷🏾‍♀️?! Am I the only one that gets tired of going out every weekend (or every other weekend)? Am I the only that gets tired of people talking about other people that aren’t in the even the room? I just don’t know if this is a generational thing or I’m just the odd one out here?

I just needed to ask because I thought that by heading to college, I was already going to minimize my inner circle. Oh no, it’s still going on. With each passing birthday, I begin to cross specific names off of my inner circle list. I’ve been wondering this for so long that I had to ask my mother. You know that it’s real when you need mom to help you sort this out.

Turns out…your girl isn’t crazy…maybe not as crazy!

After much thought, I realized I had to create a checklist and not just any kind of list. You know what I mean, like one we used to do for guys until we realized that oh well, you love what you love! Welp…you can’t be friends with just about anyone so we’ve got to make a list for this category too. Drum roll please…🥁🥁!

I titled this post based on the list because not all of us can have a glam squad like celebrities. However, the people we allow to be a part of our inner circle are there to help shape us inside and out so that we can be the best versions of ourselves. All friendships are a give and take relationship. As your squad helps you to become the best version you can be, you have to also look within yourself and assist them in being they best the can be.

Glam Squad List

  • People who will emotionally, mentally, and psychologically supportive:

    • To clear this one up I must explain that no person, absolutely no one in this world, can heal you in any of these areas. It takes you and a whole lot of Jesus to do that but having people around you who are willing to just be there and support you when you’re in battle makes a difference. When in an emotional, mental, or psychological battle, your army determines your success. Make sure you’re surrounding yourself with reliable and encouraging people.

  • People who tell you the truth especially when it tough to hear it:

    • I don’t think there’s anything I value more in this world when it comes to friendships - aside from being a believer - then people who are honest. The truth will eventually come to light one way or another so why hold back? Honesty is a great sign of respect in my book and is a character trait I value.

  • People who vent and don’t gossip:

    • Whenever we’re faced with conflict, most of us tend to want to share our frustrations, concerns, and angry with people close to us. There’s a saying, to have a friend you need to be a friend. True…but I don't agree with this when it comes to issues about other people besides myself. It’s healthy and natural to vent to your friends about what so and so did but are you going to tell the person you have this issue with how you feel? If not then it doesn’t need to be said. I’m not blameless in this department so I’m technically preaching to myself here too. Oh, this ties into the next bullet point…

  • People who celebrate others success and correct what needs to be corrected:

    • I don’t know if I’m alone in this one, hopefully not. I love rooting for people when they accomplish something no matter how small it is. But I love it when my friends feel so comfortable with me that they’re willing to call me out. Maybe it’s because I see it as a sign of respect and love. When you love someone you want to protect them (even if it is from themselves) then let them make a mistake unknowingly.

  • People with goals!

    • I don’t think I even need to explain this one so I’m going to leave it here.

  • People you can take home with you:

    • Okay, if you have a judgemental family or family member please disregard this one because only you know what will happen. Moving on, as a teenager, I used to get into it with my mom a lot but once 16 hit, I realized, this lady knows what she’s talking about! I tend to have my parents meet those I have in my inner circle. From boyfriend to close friends, if my parents haven’t met you yet…well then you’re probably not a part of my inner circle or I just haven’t gotten around to it. Honestly, just like you don’t date someone you can’t bring home with you, why would you be friends with someone you can’t bring home?

  • People who value the raw and healthy you.

    • I think this was the hardest one for me out of everything I’ve already talked about because I’m not going to lie, I’m a little naive. I try to see the best in others because I just don’t believe that people are initially bad. There isn’t one person I have ever met in my life that I would call a "bad person". However, not everyone values who you are. This was a painful lesson for me and I’m still learning that though you may think the best of a person, that doesn’t mean they see the best in you. Sometimes you have to let go of what is comfortable, those are comfortable to be around, just so you can be around the people that empower you. Stick to those who make you realize you are worth more than any piece of China in the world…Jesus thought so.

Obviously, there is more to my ridiculous rants and my list but just as I get older, this list gets longer. So for now, just meditate on these traits. Make sure you’re evaluating yourself too because just you are what you attract. If you attract people don’t have traits you want then it’s time to become loving acquaintances…from afar. Love everyone you meet in this world, but not everyone needs to be in your world…see what I did there😉?

P.S: this was for all my lovely Bachelor Nation ladies! Who’s excited to see what’s going to be unfolding this upcoming season? I am!!!

Until next time…

- 🌿Abigail