Posts in Mental Health
I Am Sorry

Healing is one of the hardest journeys I've ever had to go on, and it doesn't stop when the tears end.[…]

I've never exposed myself this much before this season of my life and these past 8 months, and it isn't easy. However, this adventure has been the most humbling and strengthen experience of my life. […]

it wasn't until I had said my goodbyes, driven 5 minutes away from camp, and played the beautiful song one camper dedicated to the experience, that I was able to let myself cry. […]

it is when you stop fighting the storm that you can sit in the eye of the hurricane and make it to the end so that you may witness the beautiful rainbow God has designed.

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Kintsugi: Where Faith and Healing Meet

“No. No more. I cannot do this anymore. Why am I investing time in this? This tree isn't bearing any fruit. This is not the tree God has for me…at least not now. I need to focus on me. I need to prioritize myself. It's time to put my self-care, self-love, and inner spiritual relationship first.”

To heal, I have come to know, is to allow what has changed from what it was at its original creation, to return and be made whole again. […] Once you know, the question is, do you allow the injury to continue (if it's a cut, will we enable the blood to keep seeping out of your skin) or do you accept that there is hurt so that you may begin healing? Ask yourself, how important is it for you to grow and heal? That is where your answer will come from.

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Change Your Tone: Speak Gently to Yourself

I was upset, to say the least. I decided to trust the knowledge of the backroads and find every avenue possible to get me to my destination on time. Long story short, I was late, and the emotions came flooding. Frustrated, upset, disappointed, hurt, confused, and helpless. All these emotions were spilling out of me so much that after almost a year of not having panic attacks, one came.

Instead of telling myself, "hey Abigail, you did everything you could do to get this errand done properly and on time," I flooded my thoughts with thoughts like, "why is this happening on a day like today?" Thoughts like, "wow, only on a day that I need things to go right," "I should've done this and that," "she's going to be upset with me because I let her down when she needed me," "she's not going to trust me to get this done ever again," and of course, "I've failed her."

When you mess up, when you fall short in any way, picture your parents (or your favorite parent cause we all know some of us are way too side selective). How would they speak to you? How have they talked to you in the past when you mess up? Imagine that kind, understanding, and loving voice. And if your parents don't do that then do the bonus and imagine how God talks to you.

God knows that you're going to fall short before you do. Remember that while Jesus was on the cross he saw all your mess-ups and still said, forgive them. Jesus knew all too well about your shortcomings and sins, and he always chooses to love you. Now you get to love on you. You get to speak kindness and love and hope into your life. And this is especially important in moments when it's hardest to see the best in you.

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You Knew the Truth, You Had to Sit in the Pain

Self-saturation:

when one is able to remove themselves from the events outside of themselves and inwardly look at the positive elements of who they are while using said elements to strengthen and recover from any and all battles they are facing.

I am a firm believer when it comes to inner peace and centering oneself through every experience life gives you. I believe that no matter how long it takes for you to overcome internal battles, you should allow yourself to fully grasp all the lessons that are in front of you and soak in everything God is teaching you.

We must allow ourselves to sit in the presence of our pain, confusion, frustration, uncertainty, and everything that bothers us. We must let ourselves honestly feel what (if you're like me) we are afraid to explore. And in the process of doing so, we must allow God to reveal what we have been too scared to see.

I want you to get a message that took me a while to grasp (and I'm still learning this): The pain, hurt, confusion, frustration, and every not so great feeling you are experiencing will never go away until you are able to face it and let God remold it to reveal the truth that it was meant to be.

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Darling, It's Time to Light It Up!

As believers, we are light and similar to what J.K and Madeleine L'Engle said, the way we are able to escape the darkness and live a life of fulfillment is by turning on our light and being genuine about who we are.

When you are able to determine what success is to you, live it! Don't let anything take your eyes off those goals and the purpose God has given you. If anything distracts you from living your authentic life the way God wants you to, it will bring you down. Trust who made you and who you are.

Stay in connection with your Creator. Embrace the fact that you are stronger than all the darkness life can throw at you. No person or thing can take this light from you. Just turn on your light even in the darkest hour, you will shine! And by being the best unapologetic version of yourself, you will not only overcome this darkness but everything that stands in your way. Trust me, I've been there and darling, believe me when I say you were meant to outshine this darkness!

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