I Refuse to Apologize
It seems as if it has been a while since I last shared anything. I have been taking some time for myself and reflecting on multiple things that are going on in my life. And I'm glad because I owe myself these spiritual vacations.
Throughout my growth, on this blog, I have shared multiple sides of myself with you. From my faith to my relationships and my personal growth. It feels as if I have grown and continue to grow into the woman I have been praying for through sharing my words and my truth with you all. And I refuse to apologize for it.
By choosing to write even when I'm afraid of sharing my own words, I have had to take a real look at myself and confront myself. There's been times when I realized I owed myself an apology for making choices that weren't exactly what God was pointing me towards. There have also been times when I had to speak love into my soul through the words I've shared with you. It's been a continuous journey of facing myself.
There's more for me share with you. There are experiences that I'm currently learning from and others that I've tucked away so that I can share later. But through this journey of self-love and faith, I never realized that I would be able to reveal who I am so clearly despite the fear of judgment and resentment.
Though in all of this I refuse to apologize.
See what they don't tell (or what you don't understand) until you are in the same shoes is that when you choose to expose who you are to the world because you want to use all of you to make the world a better place than you found it, people will try to bring you down.
Don't get it twisted, I'm not playing the victim card here, but instead, I'm exposing something that I believe is disgusting, appalling, and downright wrong: choosing to express negativity and harmful words to those who are using their platform to better their lives and those around them.
I know, you're probably like, "whoa! Abigail, where the heck did this come from?" Let me explain:
Throughout this journey of being a full-time blogger, I have surrounded myself with people who exhibit the three words that I shared at the beginning of the post. However, here's a harsh truth: just because you are choosing to be a better person and using your platform to help others doesn't mean that you are immune to the haters.
See why I refuse to allow any negativity on my blog? I know it's harsh. Some people don't want to hear this or try to reason why online bullying even happens. And to be frank, the reason is simple: you're doing something people who haven't allowed themselves to tap into and haven't done yet. (See how I said yet; everyone's going to get there, I believe it.)
Ultimately, there is no place for it, and I refuse to apologize for sharing my truths. The world is filled with people who are misplacing their energy by choosing to allow negativity to fill them up. You can't be one of them. I can't be one of them. There's a beautiful light that God placed in each of us, and he wants us to tap into this gift because it's meant to not only glorify him but to heal and empower others.
I know I'm going to sound like a parent, but my dear don't apologize for your gift! Don't be sorry for who you are and who God is molding you into. God doesn't make mistakes, but instead, he creates all things and all people who are destined for His perfection. It takes vulnerability, honesty, and transparency to get there though. God knew what he was doing when he made each of us. But we can't find ourselves when we refuse not to face ourselves. By pursing who we are in Christ, we become who we were always meant to be in Christ: our true selves.
'Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”'
Everything I'm saying sounds modern and secular, but if you look back at Scripture you come to realize many of the people God used to tell his story of love were people who had to dig deep inside who they are, allow God to dwell there, and manifest the glory of God. Doing so, they exposed the truth that God revealed to them. I mean look at Gideon for example, the guy tested God so many times, and when he accepted everything and allowed God to use him, he was able to find the real him, the him that God had already destined for him to become. The Bible is filled with people doing this over and over.
Don't apologize for allowing God to use you. Don't let those who aren't walking your journey to stop you from taking the steps God has asked for you to make. But don't be the person who instead of being a spiritual cheerleader, allows jealousy, bitterness, or anything unkind to cause you to bring someone else down. Remember, everything is spiritual. The battle is God's and so is the judgment.
Be a spiritual cheerleader for everyone. Empower others to be their authentic selves. Let God use your words and your truth to bless all who meet you. By doing so, we are being who Christ asked of us to be. We don't love by only loving those who we get along with but all people. We love by supporting each other. We love by praying for one another. We love by cheering on each other as we continue our journeys on this earth. Be the light that God destined for you to be and don't apologize for it!
Until next time...