Hey, It's Younger Me and I Want to Hug It Out
Close your eyes; I want you to picture your life right now:
Think very deeply about what struggles you're currently facing. I want you to focus on that very situation. Feel the pain that this obstacle has inflicted in your life. Take a look hard look at what this situation has caused and where it came from. Where is the problem going? Is it going anywhere or is it stagnant? Where does it hurt the most? Your heart? Your pride? Your soul? Your self-esteem? Where does this pain come from, what has it caused, and where is it going.
Now, with your eyes still closed, imagine the current you and the younger version of yourself hugging this pain. No, I'm not telling you to accept it and just be done, I'm asking you to imagine yourself embracing this pain as you a dear friend that is hurting. Tell that pain these very words:
'If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: '
- 1 John 1:6-10 (KJV)
Now open your eyes.
How did that feel? Was there a person that you were imagining? Was there a place or an event that you had in your mind? Whatever it was you have now talked to it and seen it.
I recently had to speak to some of the things that I've faced in life the very same way I had you talk to your obstacle. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. It felt uncomfortable because who speaks to their pain? But looking at where I am now in my life, I am genuinely grateful that I did.
'Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.'
- Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)
Taking a hard look at what you're going through when you're going through is a difficult step. You have to be authentic and vulnerable in ways that you're not comfortable with. You have to expose yourself and reveal the scars that the pain has created knowing full well that by doing so you will be releasing the pain and grip that the wounds have over you. Sometimes those scars are created by you, and some are the results of those you allowed to influence you. But if there is anything I've learned from the pain it is these three things:
1| Face what scares you the most
When you are in a situation, the pain or whatever that conflict may be is what scares you the most. To face something forces you to recognize the reality of whatever it is. By allowing yourself to look at what is hurting you, you give yourself the opportunity to acknowledge the existence of the emotions and effects of the problem.
2| Let’s Hug it Out
In the beginning, I asked that you give your struggle a hug. Hugs are magical! I mean have you ever been hugged by a child?! A child's hug is a form of medication that I believe we all need. Embracing your battles isn’t about approving of them but understanding that this is a battle you must either go through, around or overcome. It relieves you of all forms of bitterness, anger, hatred, fear, resentment and any negative emotion that is tied with it. Taking ownership and caring for our pain tends to be difficult for us especially when we do not want to let go of the emotional connection in which we have towards our pain. But remember this, you were never created to be attached to your pain in that sense. You were designed to use the battles as stepping stones and weapons for future obstacles. One way or another, you must let it go.
3| I Forgive Me
I find this to be a tad bit harder than the two above because I have a strong belief (this seriously non-negotiable for me) that it takes two to tango (it takes two to make a mistake). But instead of seeing pain like so, we all tend to look at pain as on so and so inflicted this upon me. It's his fault, her fault, or sometimes it's even the poor dog's fault! (Leave the dog alone. Dog's are love, let it be😂) Take the word fault out of your vocabulary! It's doesn't come from Christ (this is my belief) and blaming one another is what Adam and Eve after they screwed up. (If we ought to learn anything aside from not talking to serpents, we ought to all learn that the blame game will never work. It only creates a monster out of a simple situation)
It does take two to tango, but your dance partner will never be able to reassure you entirely after you make a mistake. Since God never created us to be entirely healed by one person, but through him only, we will never find peace after battles until we give it all to him. You and I must learn to speak love to ourselves. We deserve forgiveness when we mess up because God first forgave us. We deserve to see the best in us when we go through because though we are sinners the Father finds us valuable in his eyes.
'Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” '
-Luke 7:47 (CSB)
I wanted to conclude with these quotes:
“I have learned, that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself, everyday, whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself "That's just fine." You have to forgive yourself so much, until you don't even see those things anymore. Because that's what love is like.”
Silently repeat to yourself: I forgive myself for any ways in which I knowingly or unknowingly caused hurt or harm to any living being or creature. I forgive all who have ever hurt or harmed me. Everything between us is now cleared up.
You forgive yourself for every failure because you are trying to do the right thing. God knows that, and you know it. Nobody else may know it.
Remember this: I love you. Jesus will always love you. You are beyond the pain and hurt hence why you are facing it. You are a conquer, and your hurt is only the beginning. Now let's do this thing called life together!
Until next time…