Would You Want To Marry That Behavior?
I know, I know! It's a weird title and by the end of all of this you'll get it. Right now you're confused and it's okay. This post is actually a journal entry I've been mediating on for some time and I didn't know how to come about it. But the LORD!
Let's get started with a quick prayer:
God, I thank you for your Word and your wisdom. I thank you for the day you have so gracefully given us and for allowing us to use this day to further your story. As we begin to dig into your Word, please let the words I type come from you and not from myself. Please use these words to help my brothers and sisters in their journey to making your glory shine more. I thank you in advance for listening and answering this prayer. In your Son, Jesus' name, Amen.
I want to begin by saying that this post is focused on everything but marriage. Yes, the title is there and you're probably saying (or thinking), why did she use the word marriage, but that's what long term friendships are. With each person you allow to infiltrate your life, you're marrying a soul, a spirit, and getting in a relationship. You are getting in bed with the people you call ‘friends’.
It’s time to treat friendships like how we treat intimate relationships. When you're looking for a man/woman, all the work you put into it should be the same amount of work you put into looking for friendships. Not everyone is meant to be your friend. In fact, the majority of people you meet in this world are not going to be your ride or die squad. And for someone like myself, that is a really hard pill to swallow.
If you're anything like me, you want to be friends with everyone you meet. Okay, not everyone, just the ones that come off as good people. I love people and I love meeting new people and make friends. It's who I am. But this has been equally a curse at times as it has been a blessing. Recently, God brought some new souls into my life and I have been using the Scriptures and questions I'm going to share with you as my guideline on who is meant to be in my life and who is meant to be unconditionally loved from a distance.
I want to focus on a verse that I struggled to understand when I first accepted Christ. Matthew 7:1-6.
"Do not judge, so that you won't be judged. For you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use. Why do you look at the splinter in your brother's eye but don't notice the beam of wood in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' and look, there is a beam of wood in your own eye? Hypocrite! First take the beam of wood out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother's eye. Don't give your holy to dogs or toss your pearls to pigs, or they will trample them under their fee, turn, and tear you to pieces."
I struggled for about two weeks when I first read this passage. I literally thought, "Jesus is getting way too deep for me to even try and comprehend. Why would I even give a pig my jewelry?" I remember asking my youth pastor and my mom about this last sentence because I couldn't seem to understand what it meant. Both of them asked me, "what do you think God means by that?" A part of me wanted to get sassy and say, "well I don't know, if I did I wouldn't have asked." But I've come to understand, God's Word isn't translated to each soul the same way. So whatever God is telling me about this passage may be different from what He is telling you.
I was given a pair or pearl earrings a couple years ago as a gift that I never wear. Why? Because they're PEARLS! Those things aren't cheap and when you've got them, you better treat them really. Similar to how you treat your car, your pet, your favorite shoes, and even now a days your new phone before you get it in a case. That feeling of wanting to protect those possessions care not translated in our friendship decision process.
Your friendships require your time, energy, heart, and even your wallet sometimes. So why would you give to someone who judges others ignorantly or sees the faults in others and not themselves? Why invest unnecessary time and energy in those who are best loved from afar?
Don't cast your pearls to swine my dear (that's harsh but I had to). Those in your close circle should be there because you've prayed and the LORD helped you discern who is strong enough to handle your ugly battles and compassionate enough to rejoice in your wins despite their own.
Now don't let me catch you being the swine? We as believers equally are at fault because we have had a history of judging others as if we were the LORD Almighty. We have elevated the sins and actions of others over who they truly are. We have compared our 'holier than the world' selves to those who need us to tell our story and show God's grace. Do not be a swine!
Now I'm going to drop the mic here and until next time…
- 🌿 Abigail