You Just Got Deleted: Wrestling with God

©AbigailBadu

Have you ever wrestled with God? You know like how Jacob did before he was called Israel? Have you ever had that kind of encounter with God?

If you have or haven't, I need to tell you something: it will change you!

I'm not Jacob. I haven't physically wrestled with God (Yet!We don't know what God will do in the future). But, I have fought with the Spirit of God. I'm not a perfect Christian (which doesn't even exist), but from season to season, I’ve noticed that for me to get where God has called me to be, due to my nature as a human being, I would end up wrestling with the Holy Spirit. I have been praying on how God wants me to deliver this story to you. Though this is a continuous learning process, I want to tell you about when I realized that I was wrestling with God.

While I was in the midst of my depression (that’s a story fir another day), I remember just about everyone was tiptoeing around me. People would point out how much I've changed, but they wouldn't really get real with me. (Now if you're one of those people reading this right now, don't get offended. I still treasure you.) I mean I get it though! When someone is at a fragile state, the last thing you want to do is say something that will cause them to just jump over the cliff.

But I'm grateful that no one around me had the gut to give me the wake-up call I needed because if a person had done it, I would be praising God for them but that's not what's on the agenda. I'm here to glorify God for wrestling with me.

©AbigailBadu

The Lord saw me at my brokenness. He saw that I was allowing myself to continue to seep lower and lower in a mental state that was destroying all that He knew I could be. God saw this girl who had been given the power to overcome anything and everything but yet she wasn't using it. And he wasn't having it! Nah! Forget about!

The Lord was fed up and he got real with. He said ,

“Oh nah! Child, you better recognize who you are. Who told you these things about yourself? Who told you to that you are trifling? Who told you that you are not worthy? Who told you that you are not beautiful? Who told you that you are useless? Who told you that the world would be a better place without you? Not I! I am your maker. I created you! I purposefully knitted all that is you! I'm your Creator! I know you better than anyone have and will know! I know you better than you! I never did and never will say that you are any of these lies you are allowing to contaminate your mind! I said that you are worthy (Romans 5:6-8). I said that you are important (Luke 12:6-7). I said that you are beautiful (Psalm 139: 13-16). I said that you are useful (Ephesians 2:8-10). I said that the world needs you (Matthew 5:14-16). I have validated who you are through and through. I have chosen you over and over again! I chose you over my own SON! My Son! You are more precious to me than my own SON! STOP BREAKING WHAT IS PERFECT TO ME! You are mine, and I will not let you go!”

God wasn't having it with me and these lies any longer. He had allowed me to play victim long enough. But he just wasn't having me play the victim when it was time for me to understand the value and power that he had placed within me. The Lord wasn't going to let me keep pretending that I couldn't delete what was toxic in my life.

It's interesting how Instagram and Facebook have made it easy for us to delete unnecessary people and toxicity out of our lives. I mean, if you aren't who I ought to be connected with then you can exit stage left, and it's called the unfollow button. But the irony of it is, we are so quick to delete toxic people yet so slow to erase toxic thoughts! Facebook and Instagram gave you the ability to eliminate toxic people. Jesus gave you the ability to remove spiritually toxic spirits!

Last time I checked Christ has more power than social media. That unfollow button was given to us by humanity, but the ability to delete toxicity has been given to us by the Lord! Why are we not using the gift that the Almighty has given us? It's like getting bitten by a poisonous snake and having the antidote in your pocket but not using it. Use the antidote! (I told you that God wasn't playing with me.) Get comfortable with deleting negativity and poisonous thought out of your life.

Thought: You're not good enough.

Delete

Thought: You are not important.

Delete

Thought: You will never be better than your past.

Delete

Thought: You are the product of your mistakes.

Delete

Thought: You have to stay in this relationship because it's the best you can do.

Delete

Thought: You can't make it cause you don't look her/him. You can't make it cause you don't have funds like them. You can't make it cause nothing is unique about you.

Delete

Thought: You can not overcome this depression. You cannot overcome this addiction?

Delete

Thought: You must not eat because it's the only way you'll be beautiful enough.

Delete

Thought: You will be just like your dad/mom.

Delete

Thought: The world would be a better place without you.

Delete

Lies come from those who have no credibility. God has proven to you and I since the beginning of time how credible he is! Believe me, when I say, God will wrestle with you until you delete the lies and accept who he has made you as: Perfect in Him!

You’ve got this with a whole lot of Jesus on your side!

Until next time…

-🌿 Abigail