Validation Not Needed: Stand Tall Regardless
Remember in middle school when we were learning about drugs and the power of peer pressure? Do you recall a teacher or an administrator telling your entire class not to allow it to control your choices and who we are? Back then negative persuasion by those around was about drugs, alcohol, sex, and anything that would draw us away from our education. Some of listened, some did not (cough cough).
I'm not here to condemn or pass any judgment (I would be first to need an intervention). I'm actually interested in the power of validation.
In a world filled with validation through how many likes, followers, 'friends,' and subscribers we have, we have become obsessed with what others perceive of us that we no longer grasp who we really are. You may say, "well Abigail, I don't have that many follower or likes or whatever. I'm barely on any social platforms." Well being an attention seeker doesn't just exist in the digital world. If you get irritated, upset, frustrated, or distraught because others aren't ready to jump on board with you just because, then you're in the same boat.
As I was hanging out with God recently, He reminded me of a characteristic of Jesus' and how I wasn't asking for validation as we have been seeking approval from others.
'Jesus responded to them, “Do you now believe? Indeed, an hour is coming, and has come, when each of you will be scattered to his own home, and you will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me. I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”'
- John 16:31-33 (CSB)
Jesus is our true example that not everyone can walk in your season with you. When it came time for him to do the will of God, all those who had been with him for 3 years (I haven’t even had a boyfriend for that long! Jesus, please teach me your ways *inserting bowing down*) left him. They ran, they fleed and denied him (if there were cars back then, they'd probably use them to have gotten away sooner). Who are we to think that this wouldn't happen to us too. He said that the world would treat us the way he was because we follow him.
' “If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. '
As believers, our goal is to model ourselves and the life we live after Jesus and to mimic the essence of who Christ is. We want to exude traits that represent who Jesus was such as:
When Jesus chose to continue showing his love to his disciples despite knowing and seeing how fickle they were when they rejected him.
When Jesus didn't place his validation in those who were following him, but in the one, he was following.
Christ knew that as long as he was seeking and doing the will of God, he would be getting his IG (Instagram for you finely aged people 😉) validation check mark from God. He didn't mop around or point fingers for not having the same amount of fans at the time of the crucifixion. Instead, he broadcasted his validation by stating that he would stand without his followers by choosing to stand with God. (Let's be honest, Jesus had 0 followers and over 108,470,690,115 (and counting) followers.)
Sounds good but seeing that we're not Jesus, and we live in a world that is telling you to do the opposite, we’re going have to keep remember these things about Christ. To receive all that our seasons and spiritual growth have to offer, we must also consider these things:
1| Followers, subscribers, and the number of friends (real or not) you have doesn't validate who you are!
Fake validation will always be fake validation. If you’re value is determined by who is following you and how others perceive you then does that mean that if those people leave or stop liking you then you are no longer of value? Remember when John showed us our value in 1 John 3:1?
'Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. '
The Bible was written to guide us as our blueprint for life but also to remind us that because of God finds us worthy of his love and his grace we are undeniably valuable in His eyes. Period. No Instagram or Twitter followers added and no Facebook friends are included in the Scriptures. Only God and that’s it.
2| You will, can and should continue to love everyone even if they do abandon you at the altar.
Runaway brides are a thing, just ask Julia Roberts all you romcom people😉🤣. Those who scatter were just not meant to go through the hurricane with you. Remind yourself of this or otherwise you may keep seeking for approval from people instead of God.
3| Your validation is can only be approved by God and no one else.
Think of it as that permission slip you had in elementary school. The one you need to get signed to go to the zoo. You know, that piece of paper that could only be validated by your parents? Just like your permission slip back then, you can't find joy, peace, contentment, and all that the Lord has to offer unless he is the one validating and leading your view of who you are.
4| You have to be willing to physically stand alone and be joined by the spiritual hip of God.
People are people. We fail ourselves, each other, and God. We all trying to be better versions of ourselves. But remember that not everyone one has the spiritual, mental, and emotional qualifications to help you successfully survive your hurricanes. Some people don't have the survival pack you require. Accept and love everyone but embrace that people aren't perfect only Christ is. Don't hold it against others when they falter. Allow God to guide you through and through.
Until next time...